wish you weren’t here
Ah.. so Mr. Bolt has returned from holidays, apparently refreshed and only wanting to stir things up in a literal sense – in the kitchen. Our very own Master Bolt (TM) is trying his luck at a challenging and delicious, er, macaroni pie.. which he describes as follows (most certainly not in his own words):
The burnished gold of the crusts, the fragrance of sugar and cinnamon they exuded, were but preludes to the delights released from the interior when the knife broke the crust; first came a spice-laden haze, then chicken livers, hard-boiled eggs, sliced ham, chicken and truffles in masses of piping hot, glistening macaroni, to which the meat juice gave an exquisite hue of suede.
Dude, you are so working class. Blue denim in your veins. Stick it to them inner city latte lovin’ lefties, perhaps with your glistening, piping hot macaroni.
Guess the ol’ noodle pie didn’t work out so well, as Bolta soon fell back into bad habits, with this inflammatory pile of shit.
The image below, according to Bolt, depicts Palestinian kindergartners performing a “traditional dance around Israeli bodies“, and adding “another generation to this particular war”.
With such a low-res picture accompanied by this description, this is a horrifying post. Until you realise that the bodies in question are just Palestinian kids playing dead. Called LYING, Andrew. That said, most other sites referencing the incident are dodgy hardcore anti-Arab jobs that do report the children as dancing around Israeli corpses. In that case, check your sources, Andrew.
I can understand how this image and scenario could be genuinely upsetting, and why a discussion on the matter is important no matter what your views. But why the constant need to write utter bullshit to support your opinion? (And, hell, why do I constantly lapse into addressing this wretched columnist personally? Same reason that we shout at televisions, I suppose.)
Is it that within Bolt’s blog, the true story and image are not strong enough to hold their own? That if he actually wrote a measured, factual post, his readers would just sit bemusedly staring at their screens, rather than enjoying that pulse-quickening rush of hatred for whoever he’s picked out as today’s victim?
People might actually attempt to think for themselves?
If you want a shot of that blood-boiling fury for yourselves, go have a read of the comments accompanying this article.
(stewart + fox news) x (colbert + today show) = hilarity
A lazy post tonight. In keeping with the laziness I’ve exhibited in not posting for over a week – still getting used to this real life/internerding balancing act.
I have for you a couple of clips that you’ve probably already seen, but that I’ll post anyway – if only to increase my traffic through publishing the words ‘bin’ and ‘Laden’ a couple of times.
Clip 1: Americana. July 1st’s The Daily Show features John Stewart’s take on the following FOX News (sic) interview, in which former CIA analyst Michael Scheuer tells Glenn Beck that ‘the only chance we have as a country right now is for Osama bin Laden to deploy and detonate a major weapon in the United States’. Apparently such an attack would ‘force Americans to demand that their government protect them effectively, consistently, and with as much violence as necessary.’
Interview excerpt below:
I’m not going to comment any further than: “Holy shit!”. See here for the reason John Stewart has his very own, very successful television show.
Clip 2: Americana with egg. Colbert and co pick up on the embarrassing fact the the only genuine news source (sic) to broadcast Jeff Goldblum’s fake Twitter death last week as genuine was.. drumroll.. Channel Nine’s Today show! See Goldblum eulogise himself (eww), and further hilarity here.
Clip 3: Is not a clip. But it is an excellent article on which News Ltd online content Bernard Keane of Crikey fame would like to see locked away behind a paywall, for subscriber access only. Including : virulent ethnocentrism from commentators, soft-core porn, opinion poll spinning, and further standard content from the likes of the Herald Sun.
Phew. That was easy. Managed to get through that whole thing without expressing a single opinion! Just like that arsehole footy guy in high school did, in every class we shared that didn’t include sweating and kicking shit around on grass.
the Hun shines again
A brave move in today’s Herald Sun editorial – the paper has come out in strong opposition against the contemptible blog written by their prized columnist Andrew Bolt, which according to the paper receives around one million hits a month.
Hun editor Simon Pristel has finally seen the Bolt blog, and its accompanying forum, for the misleading, hate inciting filth that it is.
About time:
Simply, the website is disgusting.
An truly amazing turnaround. I’m curious as to what inspired the change.
It is hard to imagine a more cruel and gutless agenda… spreading hate and filth.
Very true.
The semi-literate who contribute to (the) site also deserve to be held to account.
Ha! Yes! Especially this guy (Jack, page 4)
First, however, the site must be torn down. Then those responsible should be brought to account.
Sheesh, you’re even going to punish your editorial staff? Surely the buck stops with you, Pristel! Brave!
This site is not about free speech. It simply damns the vulnerable.
Again, spot on. The man takes every opportunity to hit out at the vulnerable – ranging from sneaky little jabs through to aggressive swipes with his million-hits stick.
This is incredible stuff.
I’ll write more on it soon. Time for a dri…
Oh.
Oh well.
Disregard the above. The Scum was only banging on about the highschool-style cesspool of a hate/revenge site ‘whozadog.com’ (yeah, I know) that they just made a MILLION TIMES WORSE by featuring it on their front page : ‘SHUT HIM DOWN!’
If only they were referring to Andy. Sigh…
Apologies for the Bolt-like selective quoting
And thanks to thelasthacker for the hilarious editorial tip
hun-shiners
First time I’ve read the entire Hun in a while. I concealed it under a copy of Vice Magazine at my local cafe to save face. True! Even though Brunswick is so totally post-Vice, being seen with it is still more acceptable than getting caught eyeballing a full cover shot of Judy Moran wearing leopard print.
Observations:
1.
Chopper Read is a columnist! Awesome! He has a profile shot and all!
Today he rambles for most of page four about tiffs at Moran family BBQs, something about how the boys used to split their Tupperware earnings, and how he reckons he’s roil psychic, like, ’cause he troily knew that Desmond Moran would be at the receiving end of a little chk chk BOOM sometime this year. Are you listening, police?
A little research into Chopper’s previous Herald Sun appearances reveals this article about Read contracting Hepatitis C, concluding with:
And Read says matriarch Judy Moran should shut up.
“If her sons or husband were alive she would never be allowed to speak to the camera,” he says.
“They would have slapped her back underneath the kitchen table.” *
This from a man who once campaigned, bizarrely, against domestic violence. But seriously, I should stop picking picking out Chopper’s contradictions – it’s a little easy, and they are probably too numerous. Even rivaling the number of flash-lit tits in Vice. **
* 70% of Hun readership applauds
** And this is why this blog remains anonymous.
—————-
2. The Hun likes refugees! Shit, they’re even celebrating Refugee Week with an editorial, and an article on local Sudanese woman Ajak Deng. Deng – who has lived in Australia since 2005 – is studying for her VCE, and will soon meet with international modeling agency IMG. The articles are lovely commendations of these achievements and on her tenacity as a new arrival under difficult circumstances.
Wow. Maybe they read my post?
Or, maybe the Hun is only interested in portraying refugees positively – or at the very least neutrally – when they are successful, ‘integrated’, young, female, devastatingly beautiful and on the verge of being wealthy. Cynical? Direct me to another positive Herald Sun refugee story.
I am extremely up for celebrating successes in our refugee community, don’t get me wrong. However, a little bit of recognition would be nice for those who are achieving in fields that don’t involve being hot, too. As would a little bit of slack for those who might not be achieving at all.
—————-
3. Idiot readers like to text stuff to Your Say:
No wonder violence on our streets is out of control. Policewomen aged 20 and weighing 55kg don’t demand the same respect as a big, burly bloke.
Bring back the force entry standards.
Just. Fuck. Off.
I can’t work out what to order!
my lefty nephew?
This comment over at New Matilda poses a good question:
Why are right-wingers always so obsessed with what left-wingers drink?
Here’s an extremely abridged collection of beverages consumed by the left, according to the right (by category, and accompanied by genuine beverage-related insult).
Coffee:
Lattes (everybody’s favourite! As in, Then all the latte sipping left move into those inner city apartments, sit in fancy cafes and over their $12 cups of coffee complain…)
Flat whites (as in, Apathetic progressives need to have a good look at how their tendency to sit on their asses and swill flat whites after a night of SBS, doesn’t add up to multiculturalism)
Cappuccinos (as in, The cappucino sipping sect of the ALP was suddenly without a tangible goal, their blueprint for Australia was internationally discredited! )
Macchiatos (as in, Macchiato too sweet? Burn the toast did we?…IF you were actually reading what Palin said you would find her a fairly straightforward person)
Wine:
Chardonnay (as in, Why everyone blames Howard for racist friction today is typical chardonnay socialist smug moral superiority)
Merlot (as in, …it’s hard to figure you, but I see you as an inner city/fringe CBD (Pyrmont, South Sydney)apartment-dwelling, Merlot-sipping, Paddington-lunching trendoid...)
Pinot (as in, Hit with a new alcopop tax – to “save” teenagers from a drink that these pinot preachers find sick-makingly (sic) sweet)
Champagne (as in, You ride a wave of champagne socialist rhetoric, and you are minority.)
Sauvignon blanc (as in, I guess with your bum firmly in the seat of that RAAF VIP jet Rudd has so kindly put on for you, and the cabin service with real cutlery and wine glasses for your Sauvignon blanc, it would be easy to succumb to a group think mentality)
Shiraz (as in, Than (sic) again there’s a rumour around that Chardonnay, Shiraz and Latte’s (sic) can cause uncontrollable Global Warming panic attacks…)
Misc:
Soy milk (as in, These Greens and soy-milk Labor panic-merchants actually got their scientific advice from Jeffrey Smith)
Herbal tea (as in, There’s talk of mutiny, over furiously steaming mugs of herbal infusion.)
Chai (as in, Chai latte is now the preferred beverage of the fashionable left.)
As opposed to the Right, who drink… what? Fosters ‘n Twinings, right?
Enjoy the following Herald Sun forum post, where Bolt’s band of bigots discuss the secrets to beautiful beef bourguignon at Andrew’s request (fancy! foreign!). His readers certainly know seem to know a lot about lefty drinks:
Beef Bourguignon comes from the Burgundy Region in France so naturally shares the splendour of fine red wine.
And to drink of course, red Burgundy. No need to venture out of the Melbourne area for some of Australia’s finest Pinot Noir wines: Yering Station, Kooyong, Scotchman’s Hill, Stonier, Bannockburn, Dromana, Coldstream Hills, etc, etc.
Quick, Andrew! Trolls!
Speaking of alliteration (which I totally was), 39th US Vice President Spiro Theodore Agnew certainly knew how to throw an acerbic, non-beverage related barb. A toast to him I say!
‘Pusillanimous pussyfooters’, ‘nattering nabobs of negativism’ and ‘hopeless, hysterical hypochondriacs of history’ are certainly more creative than “those guys sure enjoy their milk-based coffees.”
refugee week
Refugee Week kicked off on the weekend, this year’s theme being ‘Freedom from Fear’.
Although this of course refers to the 1951 Convention relating to the Status of Refugees definition of a refugee as
Any person who owing to a well founded fear of being persecuted for reasons of race, religion, nationality, membership of a particular social group or political opinion, is outside the country of his/her nationality and is unable, or owing to such fear, is unwilling to avail himself/herself of the protection of that country
it’s relevant to dwell on the unfounded fear of refugees themselves that still exists in many Australians. And on why this fear persists despite its unfounded nature.
As much as I hate to bang on so much about certain columnists, the power of the Blair/Bolt duopoly is particularly terrifying when the result keeps a fair portion of Australia’s head up to its neck in red sand on such important human issues. It’s not the serious conservatives’ opinions I’m concerned about here – more the thoughts of the everyday person with little interest in politics, who sees no need to delve further than the predominant columns printed in the daily tabloids.
Personal conversations with (disinterested) friends on the subject of asylum seeker and refugee policy & attitudes have produced comments that simply rehash faulty Bolt arguments, accompanied by “I don’t know much about it, but this (queue-jumping, job-stealing, baby-throwing, boat-exploding, send-’em-back) seems to make sense”.
Or, yikes, the “I’m not racist, but…” line.
Even though organisations such as the ASRC do such an amazing job in their attempt to spread understanding and compassion, it’s difficult to compete with such a powerful and prevailing message of fear.
See here for a list of Melbourne Refugee Week events.
*EDIT
Ooh, groupthinky. From The Age editorial yesterday, Time to end fearful treatment of refugees:
In this country, freedom from fear has a wider application that should cause Australians to reflect on the recent treatment of refugees and asylum seekers. Historically, Australia has prided itself on its role as a haven for those in need and in its capacity to embrace and to learn from those who comprise its increasingly multicultural population. Australians came to take pride in themselves as compassionate and humanitarian, but for much of the past 10 years we allowed ourselves to become fearful and untrusting, able to be manipulated for political purposes into an uncharacteristic lack of charity.
Full article here.
i don’t always write about fascism
Ants are interesting, too.
Here are some collectivist ants (below, courtesy of the awesome We Love You So) and some zombie ants.
So there.
post revised
Alright alright alright. Maybe I was a little harsh on ol’ Bolta yesterday. After all, he was pretty moderate. I exaggerated his attempts to paint Neo-Nazi James von Brunn as left-leaning. They were there, but they were subtle. Bolt’s main point (which I a.. agr.. *vomit … agree with) is that this fucker hates everyone pretty much equally. Labeling him politically is like trying to give cheese a gender.
So I clicked on Bolt’s adorable face-button this morning, meaning only to contact him and apologise, but my efforts were thwarted when I was greeted with this.
I’m not going to press the usual points about selectively editing quotes to appease and mislead his clambering masses. I’m not going to get into the specifics of Neo-Nazi ideology. I’m just going to say that this game of pin-the-political-tail-on-the-lunatic is pathetic, and pointless. What a sad business.
Is it a cold, purposeful point scoring attempt, or does Bolt have a conscience? Perhaps this is one of those times that people like him recognise some of the foul crossovers between their own beliefs and those of people so hateful it’s even unacceptable to them, and are ashamed.
really, bolt?
Bolt’s squirmy, even-he-knows-he’s-bullshitting argument posted on his blog today would be a funny read, if it wasn’t so sad. The fucked-up shooting of a security guard at the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum has Bolt squeaking in complaint that the Neo-Nazi shooter is being referred to as ‘right wing’, rather than ‘far right’ – or, ‘far left’. Fair enough not wanting to be politically associated with homicidal hate groups, but it’s a fair shake of the sauce bottle (best news story of the week) for him to complain about unfair political labeling. Simply type ‘what is it with the left and…‘ into the search form on Andrew’s blog, and watch the generalisations fly:
What is it with the Left and crazies?
And what is it with the Left and vomitously vindictive snobbery? *
What is with the Left and abuse?
What is it with the Left and violence – and free speech?
* dude likes his thesaurus
Etcetera.
If Bolt really wants to be convincing in his argument that distinctions between right and left ideologies blur at their most extreme, why does he still attempt in his post to paint this extremist as left-leaning?
Pretty interesting also to watch all the little nuts (and bolts, geddit?) on the forum scramble, not for the first time, to disown Hitler and Nazism:
They believed in a state run economy and equality for all Germans. They were leftists, no matter how hard you leftards try to deny it, the Nazi’s were leftists. Learn to deal with or change ideologies.
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
